Of Mantillas and Meatless Fridays..

Here is an interesting post (with its comments), written by Rita at Tigerish waters, - it makes me feel like I'm not quite alone! I used to attend Mass in a parish where we once lived. I gradually became aware of the way young girls particularly, were beginning to dress in what can only be called an extremely immodest fashion. I distinctly remember hinting to one young lady, (a lovely girl) at the parish barbequeue, that she ought to pull her trousers up, since her underwear was showing. Later on, as I was chatting to a couple of other mums, they informed me that it was "the fashion", and quite intentional! I became increasingly uncomfortable with seeing these young girls waltzing through the Church to the sacristy prior to robing up for Mass, in their low cut jeans, showing off belly and bottom, and sometimes almost their nether regions, and other ladies, young and old, going onto the sanctuary to read, or be Extraordinary Ministers, clad in skin tight clothing, with arms and shoulders bare. I discussed this with my husband, and he said that it was a big distraction for a lot of men, since they are easily attracted by the shape and form of a woman. I began to realise how difficult it must be for some men, including Priests, who struggle with purity, to be constantly bombarded with such visual stimulation from scantily clad women - and how wrong it was for this to be going on in Church. I read more and more about modesty, and veiling, and became more and more convinced that though it may be uncomfortable and embarrassing for me, God wanted me to wear a head covering; I initially did so, as an act of reparation for all the immodesty I was witnessing. When I first went up to read, wearing my "mantilla", my husband said he thought it looked beautiful, and chaste, and modest. Other people in the parish weren't too happy, and thought that I had changed, even though I came and chatted to them after Mass in the same old way. But in some ways, I suppose, I had. I began to feel much less distracted at Mass, I could focus on the Mass, and I felt much more submissive before God. I was beginning at that time, to become aware of the Mass as the Sacrifice of Calvary in a much more "real" way, and being veiled, as Mary would have been, at the foot of the Cross, seemed so much more appropriate. I now feel very bare if I forget to bring a head covering, and I keep an emergency scarf in the car, just in case. When we moved to a new parish, I had to go through the embarrassment of being the "odd one out" again. But, I think decent people just get used to it, and don't worry about it after a while. If it bothers anyone, then that's their problem, not mine. If they want to know whether or not I'm a hard-line dyed in the wool Traditionalist, then they can come and talk to me to find out- if they choose not to, then that's up to them, and I don't mind what opinion they form of me, it's only their opinion, after all. The One who needs to know what I'm like, does so already!
I did have one chap ask me (having never spoken to me about anything whatsoever before) whether I still didn't eat meat on Fridays, as though it were some kind of a big joke. I mumbled something about 'not if I can help it', but really felt like saying 'I can't afford to eat meat most days of the week, you big fat geezer!' - he did look rather well-fed -(See what a Saint I am!).
I have moved in a different direction, to some degree; I no longer read at Mass, I don't see the need for me to do so, even though I was an excellent reader; my thoughts on lay reading have changed. My ego has improved since then too (in a spiritual way, ie, it's getting smaller!!)
I tend to go to Mass where I feel at home, and that usually means the old Latin Mass, Extraordinary, Gregorian, Tridentine, call it what you will.
And I don't always wear a mantilla - in fact, mine is not really a mantilla at all, just a huge length of black cotton lace I'd kept in a cupboard for years, Iwould never manage to keep one of those nylon lacey mantilla thingies on my bonce; I'm sure it would cause much fidgeting! I've got a brightly coloured stripey 'veil' too, which I wear Pashmina fashion.

And then there's the Martin Luther bonnet I made myself, which is great in winter,although I do look a bit prettier than him in it... and I wear it with more aplomb, (even if I do say so myself!).
It can be seen onthe corner of the chair bedecked in my "veil" collection. The little heart-shaped picture is of Saint Maria Goretti, another of my favourite saints - a good lassie to pray to, to intercede for all these silly young folk who have lost the sense of modesty, and their parents who seem unable to do anything about it.

Treats for Corpus Christi

This is an example of some fine craft work we did a couple of years ago in honour of the Feast of Corpus Christi, at a lovely home-schooling group we used to be able to attend. The boys would generally run around being hooligans, whilst the girls, and one or two of the more "arty" boys would diligently create masterpieces. My dear son, to my chagrin, was never one of those diligent, arty children, but I think he did occasionally come back to help stick some bits on here and there, so let's say this was a combined effort. I like to bring it out around this time of year, just to remind myself that we did do crafts, once!



My husband has been in London for an examiners' meeting for a few days. He was rather miffed, at first, that he had been given a more 'downmarket' hotel to stay in, than on previous occasions. We were discussing his visit a week or so ago, and realised that he would be away over the Feast of Corpus Christi, and wondered whether he'd be able to get to Mass on that day. Now we knew that some of the "big" Churches, like the Brompton Oratory would probably have Mass in the Extraordinary Form, but he wouldn't be near there. When we looked up the Mass times for Corpus Christi, we found there was a Church named Corpus Christi, in Maiden Lane, which was having an Old Rite Mass for the Feast Day - guess where hubbie's hotel was positioned? within walking distance of said Church. The Lord provides!

My son and I managed the hour's journey to the Birmingham Oratory, as we did on the Ascension. Although we are not in the parish, my son often serves the EF for one of the priests who was to be officiating at this Mass, and he invited him to serve if we came. I was rather concerned that as it was rather late he might disgrace me and fall asleep in the sanctuary, but he rose to the occasion and made a perfect accompaniment for the other little boy who was serving (son of a famous large-familied blogging mama , methinks!) On the journey down, I quizzed him about whether he'd be ok serving, and his reply was "oh it's alright serving at these big Masses, all you have to do is sit on the sub's bench and look holy"! There you go then!
(He wants me to add "but we did end up being acolites this time, so there was more to do").

Bring Flow'rs of the Rarest..

I thought, instead of bemoaning the fact that one can no longer celebrate Ascension Thursday - unless one has access to a city where the EF is being said - I would give honour to Our Blessed Mother at the beginning of this month of May, which is especially dedicated to her.

I love this hymn:-

Bring flowers of the rarest,bring blossoms the fairest,
From garden and woodland and hillside and dale;
Our full hearts are swelling,our glad voices telling
The praise of the loveliest flower of the vale!

Refrain,
O Mary we crown thee with blossoms today!
Queen of the Angels and Queen of the May.
O Mary we crown thee with blossoms today,
Queen of the Angels and Queen of the May.

Their lady they name thee,their mistress proclaim thee,
Ah, grant that thy children on earth be as true
As long as the bowers are radiant with flowers,
As long as the azure shall keep its bright hue.

Refrain..

Sing gaily in chorus;the bright angels o'er us
Re-echo the strains we begin upon earth;
Their harps are repeating the notes of our greeting,
For Mary herself is the cause of our mirth.

Refrain..

I'm afraid I couldn't find many rare and fair flowers that I could bring to Our Lady, so I made do with bringing her to the few I have in the garden, at present.

Then she got a little bouquet, when I brought her indoors!

Suffering, or Miracle-Working?

Every morning my dear husband reads a page from a book entitled "A Year with the Saints" published by Tan, which he found in a souvenir shop in Lourdes. The readings are wonderful, and the excerpts from the Saints' lives and speech are inspiring.

I often think of the debates that are had in blogland. There was one blogger who liked to pop in to Catholic blogs and put in his (Ex-Catholic, now Evangelical Protestant) penny's worth in the comments boxes. He frequently berated Catholics, particularly those who liked to attend the Extraordinary Form of the Mass, for not performing miracles, whilst he claimed he, and his charismatic friends were causing miracles left right and centre, even raising people from the dead. He also took exception to the Catholic acceptance of suffering.
This morning's reading seemed very appropriate to this debate - it is from St. John Chrysostom, who lived from about 347 until his death in 407 AD.

"If the Lord should give you power to raise the dead, He would give much less than He does when He bestows suffering. By miracles you would make yourself debtor to Him, while by suffering He may become debtor to you. And even if sufferings had no other reward than being able to bear something for that God who loves you, is not this a great reward and a sufficient remuneration? Whoever loves, understands what I say."
The Saint set such a high value on suffering that he even said: "I venerate St. Paul not so much for having been raised to the third heaven, as for the imprisonmment he suffered. And so, if I were asked whether I would be placed in Heaven among the angels, or in prison with Paul, I would prefer the latter. And if it were left to my choice whether I should be Peter in chains, or the angels that released him, I would certainly rather be the first than the second."

Now there's a saint who goes back a long way, so our Catholic view of suffering isn't all a Mediaeval invention, after all! (As our Protestant friend would claim).

Now all I need is the grace to be able to stop waiting for miracles to happen, and just get down and accept all that suffering that I get thrown at me, with a great big, Thank You Jesus!

We Think it's All Over

We have been waiting for a decision recently about whether we were to have a 6 year old child placed with us for adoption.
I mentioned in an earlier post about the difficulties we've had in adopting within this country. What is our big problem? We don't drink to excess, we haven't abused our birth-child in any way, we don't smoke, we aren't hugely overweight :-) ! We have a nice house (3-4 bedrooms), a big garden. We love each other, and get on well together, and are respectful towards those of different belief-systems to ours. We have a stable family life, and a good sense of humour. We've been waiting for six years now, having been approved by three social services panels.
So, what could it be? Well, the first serious problem is that we are Catholic, yes, really Catholic, that is, we actually go to Mass, and sometimes more than once a week. We also accept what the Catholic Church teaches on faith and morals.
But this is where the real irony lies. More than the Catholic bit, the social workers can't get their narrow minds around the fact that we homeschool....we actually like children enough to want to spend whole days and nights in their company! We are NOT normal. We wanted to bond with our children by being close to them, showing them that though they have been rejected, or abandoned once by adults, it isn't going to happen again. We wanted them to not feel abnormal in school because they are the only ones who are adopted. We even said that if the child insisted that they wanted to go to school, we'd let them go!
A month or so ago, we were close to being matched with a little baby. Our social worker thought we'd be a good match, the family finder social worker thought we'd be a good match, and was keen to arrange a visit. Then it all fell through, why? because the child's social worker (who is supposed to be guided to some extent by the family finder) looked at our form, read the bit about homeschooling, and didn't want to have anything to do with us!! (And they are short of couples ready to adopt in that Local Authority). Then, even more irony, whilst all this was going on, another social worker in the same department overheard about us being homeschoolers. She thought, "I know of a child who is experiencing difficulty in school, she would benefit from being home educated. Let us look at this family". Thus, we began to look at the possibilities of taking on a much older child than we had ever considered. We thought and prayed long and hard about it, and as they were keen on meeting us, we agreed to a visit from two social workers, and the child psychologist who had been dealing with the child. They visited with us for over an hour, and the discussion was thorough - we had to find out what problems we would be bringing into our home with this child, as well as the good things. The meeting was very positive, but after they'd left, my husband and I remained undecided as to whether it would be right for us to take on an older child with no experience of the Catholic faith. Although they were very impressed with us, and had no problems with the homeschooling, ultimately, they chose another family, who they believed met the child's needs. This could have been because they were not religious, and I think in this case, that may have been better for the child, and maybe for us.
Only God knows why we have been down this adoption path, and failed to adopt.
We know of at least two other Catholic homeschooling families in the UK who have managed to adopt. It is not impossible. But my advice to families who have children who are pre-school age, and want to adopt again, is "don't mention ze homeschooling!" the social workers really don't need to know. I do hope, and pray, that one day, social workers will look more favourably on home-education, and the positive effects it has on adopted children.
As for us, we are about to formally resign from the adoption agency we are with. Our social worker has tried hard on our behalf, and we are grateful to him for that, but he himself sees how near impossible the situation seems to be in our case.
I just pray for all those children in the past 6 years, who have been placed with homosexual couples, when they could have been given a home with a "normal" couple like us, who, let's face it, could have met their needs far better, given that every child comes from a mummy and a daddy.

Catholic Homeschooling in the UK

My first posting.
What shall I say? the blog title seems to express it quite succinctly.
Homeschooling is a bit like this, most days I get up and - I don't know what I'm doing; I only know that my husband and I felt like it was the Right thing to do, that it was what the Holy Spirit was calling us to do, and maybe writing things down will help me to keep finding the way forward, even though I often feel stuck.
I've spent the last few months reading other people's blogs, on and off, and never felt like starting one myself, but the things some people write are so audacious that I felt I had to have some identity in order to comment on their blogs, so in trying to do that I seem to have accidentally created a blog of my own. If I keep at it, maybe one day I will be able to say I DO know what I'm doing, at last!
We are Catholic, unashamedly and gratefully Catholic. We want the Catholic faith to be experienced as something beautiful, and true in our children's lives, and we see the rapid decline in purity in the young as something that has to be countered.
But it is not easy. Children can not live in a vacuum, they have to engage with the world. It is a difficult fence top to be balancing on. How can we enable them to keep their purity, whilst still being a part of a world where impure images, and ideas abound.
How many parents really want their children to be exposed to the front page of the "Daily Star", or whatever it is, that always has some poor exploited woman being exhibited. Why are these papers being shown in Morrisons, Tescos, or Sainsburys at child's eye level?
All our children are precious. Homeschooling is just another way, that has been shown to us, in which we as parents can try to keep them precious, and unspoilt.