Early Canonisation!

I have been canonised.

I was at Mass the other night, in a Church I don't often get to, which has the Old Rite on a first Friday. After it was ended, huddled inside my mantilla (I have a very large one - a sort of "gorilla" mantilla,) making my thanksgiving and avoiding any of the chit-chattering old dears, I sensed someone shuffling into the pew ahead of me, and then stopping directly in front of me. I realised I could avoid the inevitable no longer, (there was no-one else around, so I knew the visitation was for me), looked up, and saw a little old lady, who eagerly wanted to talk to me. She wanted me to pray for her family situation - the new great-granddaughter whose father has abandoned her and the mum, due to the fact that she is to be baptised, he being a Moslem. It's funny, but whenever I get "feelings" about our failure to adopt, I often hear of a baby in need of prayers - spiritual adoption is definitely a much needed thing, these days - so many children need prayers. I have an extreme reluctance to talk to anyone whilst in Church, apart from Our Lord, unless it is really necessary, so I kept my responses to her, to many smiles, and nods of sympathy, with promises to pray for the situation. But what truly horrified me, was what she came out with next - "You are a Saint" - I think I looked suitably aghast, and then laughed in embarrasment, that she should think such a thing, but again, being in Church, I couldn't protest too loudly now, could I?

Anyway, just in case anyone else out there has got the wrong impression of me, I will now post what my husband read out to me from our Saints book, as being pertinent to my salvation - he being under no illusion as to my level of sanctity -

(This is from Saint Francis de Sales - brilliant man)

The remedies against anger are:

1) To forestall its movements, if possible, or at least to cast them aside quickly, by turning the thoughts to something else. (Tried this, it worked well for about half a day).

2) In imitation of the Apostles when they saw the sea raging, to have recourse to God, whose office it is to give peace to the heart. (Forgot this one, on the spur of the moment).

3) During the heat of passion, not to speak, nor take any action as to the matter in question. (This one lasted about half a minute).

4) To strive to perform acts of kindness and humility towards the person against whom one is incensed, especially in reparation for any of a contrary nature.(Mmmm have to wait 'till the anger subsides!)

Humble mildness is the Virtue of Virtues, which Our Lord has recommended to us, and therefore we ought to practise it everywhere and always. Evil is to be shunned, but peaceably. Good is to be done, but with suavity. Take this for your rule: Do what you see can be done with Charity, and what cannot be done without disturbance, LEAVE UNDONE. In short, peace and tranquility of heart ought to be uppermost in all our actions, as olive oil floats above all liquors.

To keep the soul continually in a state of gentle calm, it is necessary to perform every action as being done in the presence of God, and as if He Himself had ordained it.

Now isn't that the most fantastic advice for those of us who are prone to anger? - even Saints like me!

(By the way, if anyone wants to make any of those little Holy cards with pictures of a saint on, please feel free to use the images in this post).

So-Called Catholic Adoption Agencies

I've just come across this post on a nice blog I jumped into today - The blog owner writes,

"It appears that the new “Cabrini Children’s Society” (while maintaining “CCS”) is no longer the Catholic Children’s Society, and has ceased being “catholic” in any sense while still expecting the bishops to “continue promoting funding from the Catholic community”. The Catholic Faithful need to know that they’ve just lost £10 million (the society's assets), and been sold down the river of political expediency as it is now technically outside Church jurisdiction. We know what that means, then!
We are now living in a country where much that was good and wholesome has been sacrificed to the gods of 'progress' and 'equality'. The debacle, recently, over the status of Catholic children's agencies is just one attempt by the godless and secular state to destroy the family. This behaviour has to be intentional; no one could be so dumb as not to recognise that current government social policy is behind many of our nation's ills."

It seems to me that a lot of ordinary Catholics just don't have a clue as to what charities containing the name Catholic, really are, or have been doing with their money. If these organisations change their names, and no longer adhere to the teachings of the Catholic Church, then they should no longer expect Catholic financial support.

WhiteStoneNameSeeker comments on the post:-
I don't know what's happening. I just remember my deep disappointment when I heard [an Archbishop] glibly mentioning that Catholic adoption agencies already hand over children to single gay people for adoption as though that was okay somehow. I've seen adoption close up both as a professional and as someone who just sees families with adopted kids. Sometimes I think social services actively LOOK to put kids where they'll be the worst off and refuse to put them where they'll thrive. God have mercy!

My comment included the following, which will show why this subject is so dear to my heart -

When we were in our previous diocese (Clifton) my husband and I, wanting to become adopters, had some dealings with the Catholic Children's Society. We found out that they were not averse to placing children with unmarried couples, as to not do so would "seem discriminatory"! We contacted our (then) Bishop - he never replied. We mentioned it to our PP, who told us he'd "back us all the way" in our opposition to this policy, yet several years on, he was still putting out the collection box for them as the Crib offering. We went with the Local Authority to be approved as adopters, as we were not comfortable with going with an organisation that compromised the name Catholic. Our social worker, who was very unknowledgeable about Catholicism, went (without our knowledge, but later told us) to a Catholic Children's Society social worker, to ask what she thought about us - given that we'd been foolish enough at that stage to admit to going to daily Mass etc. The CCS social worker informed her that that was definitely "not normal". However, our social worker, eventually getting to know us, managed to see enough positive things in us to get us approved. We never had a child placed with us though, even though we moved and became re-approved by another Catholic Agency, where our lapsed Catholic social worker (who "wouldn't necessarily agree with all your Church teaches") did mention that we were a rare couple for the Agency to have on its books - ie a practising Catholic couple. (As I've mentioned in earlier posts,)We've withdrawn from the process now, six years on, but we do feel aggreived that these agencies are still taking funding from Catholics, when they are frequently not at all Catholic in their policies.

When will those in authority DO something?

A Certain type of Wealth and Poverty

This is something I needed to come across, read, and digest. Ponder. Take to heart. The author of this post is a real inspiration. Her name is Helen, and she has the Castle of the Immaculate Blog.
She writes about it here , but I'm going to put it on my blog so I can read, and re-read it!

Wealth and Poverty

Who can “handle” another child? Who truly is capable of providing for the needs of another soul made in the image and likeness of God? Who can be trusted to guide a new life safely through this life of dangers and pitfalls? We are all stricken with the illness of the soul – original sin. We all labor with darkened intellects and weakened wills. So, who can “handle another child?”

The Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph were so good that God entrusted Himself as a baby to them. Despite their physical poverty, they were made fit spiritually for the dignity of the office of parenting God. With complete dependence upon the Will of God and prayerful serenity, the Immaculate and Her chaste spouse accomplished the impossible: They parented God! How can man parent the Creator? This is an impossibility. Yet this is precisely the vocation of the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph. How often did they tremble at the road which lay ahead of them?

We have to trust that despite our weaknesses and failings, by trusting God, we will be made fit to steer the young we are given into the paths of God.

The wealth of fertility:
You know every one who comes into contact with your baby. Everyone. You know where your baby is every second of its new life. Your baby is with you right now, no guessing where he is. You know every sound and voice your baby knows. You know and control every thing your new baby eats. You can speak to your baby immediately. You can communicate to him with your heart and he knows you and you know him. You have new life within you, even if it is briefly. Every sacrament you receive, he receives.
The wealth of privacy:
In a perfect world, a baby should be between a husband and wife and no one else. When you have the wealth of fertility, you do not have to ask anyone’s permission to have a baby. You do not need to explain to your doctor, the pediatrician, the social worker and adoption agency, and the state all the personal plans you have for your family and future. The wealth of being sure of God’s plan. Conformity to the Will of God is the sure path to sanctification. The wealth of fertility allows you to know what God’s plan is for you. In marriage, if you find yourself expecting, you know exactly what God wants of you. The path is clear.

The great women we find in the Old Testament considered children a great blessing. When these women called to God in poverty, they cried because they couldn’t have children. For example, Hannah (Samuel’s mother) and Rachel (Joseph’s mother) both beseeched God because of their poverty (and Rachel was very prosperous in the eyes of the world). They suffered the poverty of infertility. For those who do not have the wealth of fertility, the poverty can be distressing. Rachel in the Old Testament expresses the feeling of infertility dramatically: “Give me children or give me death.”


The consoling way to look at infertility is to turn to the Gospel and see infertility as a poverty. Then we can take this cross, this terrible pain, and turn it into a great, sanctifying grace. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. When the Lord spoke of the Kingdom of heaven, He said: “The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Meaning the Kingdom is already here. He is the Kingdom, the manifestation of the Trinity. When we draw close to Him and His ways we find the Kingdom of heaven. In the beatitudes, Jesus teaches us that this Kingdom belongs to the poor in spirit. With the poverty of infertility, one is given the opportunity in prayer to be truly poor: “May I also have a child in my womb, but if I cannot I will be satisfied (and greatly satisfied) fulfilling Your Will for me. Thy Will be done, not mine.” Since no new life is created within the barren womb, this allows the great emptiness to be filled with Jesus Himself.

Isn't that a beautiful way to look at it? I pray for the grace to be able to say always, "Not my will, but Thine be done, Oh most loving Jesus"

Let's Adopt This Little Girl Instead!

There is a member of my family, who, when asked a few years ago what she thought about adoption (she has two fine healthy children, a girl, and a boy, a very large house in the country with lots of rooms and a huge garden) said, "We thought about it, but then we got [let's call it, for the sake of anonymity] Bonzo". Yes, they now have three Bonzos. Mmmm. Now, they're not practising Catholics, but "cultural" Catholics. The social services would have loved them. Still. It's not for everybody, I suppose.

So, seeing as we've not been allowed to adopt a child, I think of all the animals in the world that I could cope with, this is the one Bonzo I'd take on:-

She is very sweet, and no, we haven't exactly adopted her, we're just looking after her for two weeks while her owners are on holiday, and seeing as they semi-adopted my son when we lived next door to them (letting him roam free in their garden) I think it's not too much of a favour to do in return.

We had snow today, the first to settle this winter, or should I say spring, and she was out first thing in it with my son. Both loved it. We have to make the most of snow here, it lasts about 4 hours at most!!!!





The snow was very heavy, (but not very deep)all the bamboo is flopping over the pond.









But once the sun begins to shine, it's pathetic really!


Not even enough time to build a snowman, like we did on our one evening of snow last year...















Still, we don't have all that "yard" cleaning that the Americans have to put up with! (or maybe even people living in Kent - I haven't looked at the news yet, I get a bit fed up with all that stuff about "global warming" Ha Ha!)

We Think it's All Over

We have been waiting for a decision recently about whether we were to have a 6 year old child placed with us for adoption.
I mentioned in an earlier post about the difficulties we've had in adopting within this country. What is our big problem? We don't drink to excess, we haven't abused our birth-child in any way, we don't smoke, we aren't hugely overweight :-) ! We have a nice house (3-4 bedrooms), a big garden. We love each other, and get on well together, and are respectful towards those of different belief-systems to ours. We have a stable family life, and a good sense of humour. We've been waiting for six years now, having been approved by three social services panels.
So, what could it be? Well, the first serious problem is that we are Catholic, yes, really Catholic, that is, we actually go to Mass, and sometimes more than once a week. We also accept what the Catholic Church teaches on faith and morals.
But this is where the real irony lies. More than the Catholic bit, the social workers can't get their narrow minds around the fact that we homeschool....we actually like children enough to want to spend whole days and nights in their company! We are NOT normal. We wanted to bond with our children by being close to them, showing them that though they have been rejected, or abandoned once by adults, it isn't going to happen again. We wanted them to not feel abnormal in school because they are the only ones who are adopted. We even said that if the child insisted that they wanted to go to school, we'd let them go!
A month or so ago, we were close to being matched with a little baby. Our social worker thought we'd be a good match, the family finder social worker thought we'd be a good match, and was keen to arrange a visit. Then it all fell through, why? because the child's social worker (who is supposed to be guided to some extent by the family finder) looked at our form, read the bit about homeschooling, and didn't want to have anything to do with us!! (And they are short of couples ready to adopt in that Local Authority). Then, even more irony, whilst all this was going on, another social worker in the same department overheard about us being homeschoolers. She thought, "I know of a child who is experiencing difficulty in school, she would benefit from being home educated. Let us look at this family". Thus, we began to look at the possibilities of taking on a much older child than we had ever considered. We thought and prayed long and hard about it, and as they were keen on meeting us, we agreed to a visit from two social workers, and the child psychologist who had been dealing with the child. They visited with us for over an hour, and the discussion was thorough - we had to find out what problems we would be bringing into our home with this child, as well as the good things. The meeting was very positive, but after they'd left, my husband and I remained undecided as to whether it would be right for us to take on an older child with no experience of the Catholic faith. Although they were very impressed with us, and had no problems with the homeschooling, ultimately, they chose another family, who they believed met the child's needs. This could have been because they were not religious, and I think in this case, that may have been better for the child, and maybe for us.
Only God knows why we have been down this adoption path, and failed to adopt.
We know of at least two other Catholic homeschooling families in the UK who have managed to adopt. It is not impossible. But my advice to families who have children who are pre-school age, and want to adopt again, is "don't mention ze homeschooling!" the social workers really don't need to know. I do hope, and pray, that one day, social workers will look more favourably on home-education, and the positive effects it has on adopted children.
As for us, we are about to formally resign from the adoption agency we are with. Our social worker has tried hard on our behalf, and we are grateful to him for that, but he himself sees how near impossible the situation seems to be in our case.
I just pray for all those children in the past 6 years, who have been placed with homosexual couples, when they could have been given a home with a "normal" couple like us, who, let's face it, could have met their needs far better, given that every child comes from a mummy and a daddy.

Why are we waiting?

I said in a previous post that I should write one with the above title, with regards to our adoption saga. It's a funny thing in this country that we are always being told that there is a great need for adopters, and yet, we have waited for over 5 years for a child to be placed with us. We are deemed "not normal". Our current social worker had to inform us today that the social worker of the baby for whom we were being considered was put off by certain facts about us. We don't feel too devastated, (although we were lead to believe we had a very good chance of being given this baby), since we have been let down on several previous occasions, and we have psychologically geared ourselves up to this likelihood.

So, what's the matter with us eh? Well, the sad truth is, in this day of inclusiveness, where anything goes - even homosexuals being able to adopt, there's just one kind of 'not normal' that social workers can't seem to include, ie, a practising Catholic couple, who homeschool, and who don't have a tv!!! Which of these three things is the greatest block in the social workers' minds, to giving a child a loving stable home, where they will be cherished is anybody's guess.

We started out on this course of self-inflicted disappointment because we thought it would be our way of being open to life, and something that God was calling us to do. We are learning something from all this, but I think it will take some serious prayer to understand what God has been teaching us.
Why did we receive this news today, perhaps it is fitting on a day for renunciation of all attachment to earthly things. Even the desire for another child?
I don't think we'll be waiting any more, it must be time to let go.

A Slow introduction

Well, it's about a week or so on since I last wrote anything, which proves to me that I am not an avid blogger. Some days one feels one has a lot to say, other days one thinks, why bother saying anything?
I homeschool an only child, a lovely lively boy of 10 years. It has been a privilege to watch him grow and develop, and at times, I have enjoyed teaching him, at other times it IS hard work. He is a boy, and so is reluctant to get on with his work. Girls just seem more diligent - but I could be generalising a bit too much here! He is bright, and imaginative, and learns quite easily. I often think back to when I was his age, and consider the amount of things I was taught, and realise that I didn't know half the stuff he already knows, so I'm not too worried about keeping up with the "National Curriculum" (I managed to go on to further education, and I'm sure he'll be able to, if and when the time comes).
My husband and I were just discussing one thing about our boy, the fact that, despite his bursts of obnoxiousness, he has maintained (by the grace of God) his purity, and modesty. He hates to hear swearing, and see immodest pictures, and he is still innocent when it comes to the things children aren't meant to know about - at least until they want to know about them! When we were being assessed to be approved to adopt, (over 5 years ago now - ho hum, but that's another story, one entitled "why are we waiting") I remember our social worker at the time asking me "does he know about the facts of life" (I'm sure she didn't use that phrase, but it was sooooo long ago, I can't exactly remember her words), and I told her bluntly, he hasn't asked, so I haven't told him anything yet, when he does, I will. I am still amazed that primary schools have disgusting books explaining what mummy and daddy do to reproduce, available from an early age. Talk about abusing children, our schools are doing it wholesale. Our lad's not stupid, when he wants to know something, he'll ask. And we're giving him the chance to do it when he's ready.
Thanks be to God that we have St Maria Goretti to intercede for our young ones (and ourselves).